Kirfkirt Dudez Interview Tips!!

Have you ever played the musical chair game?? I bet u certainly do!!!
Kirfkirt dude loves playing the musical chair game.
Every guy has to play the musical chair game once in his lifetime.


Kirfkirt dude played 3 rounds of the game viz with IOCL , with TATA Steel n once with GGL until those TACO guys lifted Kirfkirt dude into one of the chairs.


So after Kirfkirt dude finally won a round of the musical chair game, he decided to write a book on "How to crack interview in 5 mins : a Dklogy approach to a successfull career".But no publisher melted out his request..
But Kirfkirt dude didn't loose his heart.The trail copy is out over here.
U guys are lucky!!!Njoy.

Tip No 1: Never so "NO" to ur girl-friend/boyfriend.

My GD topic was "Wht lessons have you learnt from the movie 3 idiots??"
My memories flew back to that day when one of my Gfs forced me to watch "3 idiots" along with her at the 1st day 1st show."I hate Bollywood but I love Rakhi!!!"
Had ma reply been negative to ma GF , I wouldn't have learnt anything from those "3 idiots".

Tip No 2 : Don't be a playboy.

Interviewer :How many girlfriends do u have dude??
Kirfkirt : Only one Sir.
Interviewer : Don't lie.
Kirfkirt : Sir I am committed to only one.(accept it!!)
Interviewer : Dude you are too young and handsome to be committed.
Kirfkirt : Sir Commitment don't come up with age or looks rather every work you do should be done with full commintment.

Mindblowing!!!

Moral: Commitment sucks.

Tip No 3: Mind your words!!Anna RascallA!!

Interviewer :Wht you want to do after coming to the company??
Kirfkirt : Sir I want to see maself promoted with years to come.
Bang!!
(No Sir I was not planning to replace you)
The guy then screwed me up like anything and I was at the recipient end of his counterkicks, side-kicks, face punches ,dropkicks etc.
Result : I survived the stress interview with some bruises n cuts .

Tip No 4 : Buy a mirror (6 ft* 4 ft)

Buy a big size mirror(size specified above) and rather than appreciating your looks do talk to your image about anything.
Will at times feel like a pycho but itz worth it.You will be the source of inspiration for yourself!!!

Tip No 5 : Be yourself.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world viz one is you and the other is the rest.
Baki "Aaall izz Well".



The below video can be a source of inspiration too(Impossible is Nothing)

LILY plz don't be SILLY

Itz campus season at every engineering college.

Campus season:A season in engineering college where students wear their fresh new formal suits ranging from Raymonds to Ganjilal Babalal brands and tries their best to outsmart their counterparts infront of the company representatives.THe season may range from 1 day -12 months.Liquor shop's sales rise significantly during campus season.

Wait I am still unemployed.But I am confident that someday someone will realise my inner potential and say "You are the one whom we wanted".
So I made my nine-month planning of my salary inorder to minimize the risk of any financial leakage.



For people who are too lazy to move their head towards their computer screen by a few inches here is wht I have planned of my salary:

In Indian Rupees ------------------- for

6000 --------------------------------------Fooding and lodging.<----->*;
2000 --------------------------------------Beer. 
5000 --------------------------------------Girlfriend.
5000(mim)------------------------------Gharwale.
5000---------------------------------------Savings. < ----------------->*;
5000---------------------------------------Petrol+Mobile Bills+clothes.


I know I know u people have a lot to suggest.Thatz why the comment tag is below.I will be looking forward to it.
Newayz I made this plan and sticked to my homemade-noticeboard(in pic).I get a very persuasive energy to study every time I see it.Not only me other inmates of ma hostel use to visit evry now and then to have a "DARSHAN" of ma noticeboard.
So I discussed my nine-month plan(don't misinterpret with the other) with Lily.
Who is Lily??????
Well Lily is ma evergreen girlfriend for the last 23 years.She was born just a day after me.We were born in the same nursing cabin.I still remember my second day in ma world.I was crying because I thought it was cool.Crying and crying as I tilted my head towards my right I saw this beautiful princess smiling at me.It was love at first sight.I never cried after that.
Soon Lily and me were in love.We had dreamed;we had ambitions;we had wonderful moments which wouldn't be disclosed over here...

So I told her about my Dklogy of my salary.After hearing she was furious.I imagined her face.SHe may be looking so much pretty by now.
"How can u spend only a meagre 5000 to your girlfriend??A Victoria-secret dress cost a minimum around 4000.What about our monthly dream date at any 5 star hotel.U haven't included the cost of flowers and chocolates which u will be gifting me everyday..Blah Blah Blah....Dhruv U are such a liar.I will never talk to you.I felt pity..on her as well as on me.
Trash....my phone was disconnected.I tried to call ..no answer.
I quickly booked my tickets to my hometown(Lily's hometown as well).Thankz Indian govt railway for providing online booking.
So I m leaving for my home tonight.I know I can handle her.Girls love pampering.

NOTE: Happy Christmas and happy New Year to all of you.
For my batchies Happy Campusing.Hope the liquor sale will cross its all time record.
Cheerz.

MESS in Mess.

Recently one of my friend called me up after 22 years ..yes 22 years and in the process of discussion told me towrite something about about our hostel food in ma blog.
I thought for a moment....
Do my hostel food really deserve a place in ma blog???
So I called up a general mess meeting and we had a spontaneous discussion of 47 n half hours..
Everybody spoke; had one or two brawls in between among infinite number of verbal fights. Ultimately all came up with somewhat innovative and highly IgNobel idea.
"Dhruv will write something about the food of hostel B of NIT Raipur"...all the apes sang in a monotonous voice.
I m fcked.
I had no clue what I would have come up with but I certainly tried my best to squeeze out the potential juice of the mess.

Hostel food is very exotic n precious.Every single hosteller will hate to ignore this fact.
Here in our hostel(Hostel B of NIT Raipur) you can find the most exotic dishes ever made from chicken-paneer to pani-daal to deep fry male chicken testicles.

NOTE:Pani-daal or water-daal is a highly demanded form of daal where the major content of the mixture is water.Water content may range from 90-95 % by weight.Paani-dal is a fav among girls to curb down their protein intake.Male chicken testicles are only for the lucky guys .

Rotis made here are imported from some place over Bermuda triangle n they resemble just like the Dalmation puppies pressed to somewhat approximately spherical shape.

Sabzis over here are either zero oil or 110% oily(depends),free of salt n turmeric with fresh sprinkles of hairs of the mess workers.Rice is as usual white in colour with fresh aroma of "raw fish dipped in a patch of cat shit".
Daal is free of daal as I said before.I once heard that our mess chef(s) were once invited to Tarla Dalaal's show to show their exquisitiveness but they turned her down due to their busy schedule.
Rumours are there that the sabzis were fried in wasted motor oils,turmeric+brick powder(50%+50%)and the cheapest non-iodised salt available in order to cut down the cost and increase the flavour during the recession period.Hopefully the recession dawned n we are saved.
The video shown down here reflects everything.

VENUE: Mess Hall, Hostel B.NIT Raipur.
TIMING: around 20:35:22:12.
DATE : Today.








Disclaimer:Every single details and facts discussed are highly non-serious and the blogger here won't be responsible for any reader's suicide reason or likewise.Actual facts and figures are not disclosed over here for security reasons.

To Mam ..with LOVE.

I was having this wonderful dinner date with ma girlfriend(in pic wit her squash bat).
Statutory warning for guys:Don't look at that pic for more than 2 secs or ever try to google it!!!.


Suddenly ma cell ringed..Shit it was the call from the Director of NIT Raipur which coincidently happened to be the director of the  engineering college where I already wasted my precious 3 n half teenage years."Hello Dhruv please suggest me 10 reformings which I can make out in the college to make a better environment for my students to study".Calm n eased, below are the 10 suggestions which I gave her:


1.Make jeans compulsory for gals inside college campus:


Seriously dude we can't go to the college everyday in an ebriated state.

Ok fine I agree that gals can't come to a college in their Victoria's secret dresses but atleast they can drop their burqas.By the way recent surveys revealed that girls in jeans can remember more than girls in salwar-suit.How true...
Boys too will make every attempt to attend their classes hence no one will be detained for low attendence.Cheerz.


2.Replace the male bodyguards in the hostels by female bodyguards:

I find the hostellers alwayz complaining that the male bodyguards in their hostels are die-hard gays and they would make lewd gestures to evry single boy in the hostel.Hence to curb their autocracies we demand  the replacement of male body-guards by female bodyguards.


3.Open a night-club oops ..night-canteen in campus.


I alwayz wanted to see a night-club cum discotheque in an engineering campus.Itz ma dream!!
We studious students hardly get time out of our busy schedule writing those ever-demanding assignments n projects during daytime.Hence it becomes utmost necessary for us to sip out some fluid(s) to revitalise ourselves.Shaking a waist in both clockwise n anticlockwise direction along with those karate sidekicks can be good for better academic performance.Discotheque can serve the purpose.


4.Open air auditorium.


Brawls,love-birds tweeting,global-warming discussions,live performance n romances are better viewed from an open air auditorium.e-classroom is too reserve n choking.I was nearly choked to death after hearing to Shweta Panditz performance once inside the e-classroom.An 20 ftsquare open air auditorium or closed air-auditorium(only for couples) are utmost necessary for us.


5.Extend the outdoor timings for gals upto  1 a.m.


I find a lot of ma friends who are gals complaining that they are unable to enjoy the real night-life of Raipur becoz of the stringent policies of their hostels."Mam they are going to be the future engineers of India who have to do perform night-shifts most of the time".
Allow them to njoy till 1 am.Don't cage those birds....
Guantanamo Bay inmates enjoy more freedom than them.....




6.Boys can visit gals hostels and viceversa.


Conducting exams inside hostels of NIT Raipur during the mid-sem of 2008-09 session had emitted many harmful radiations.One such effect was girls were very eager to find out what lies behind that enigmatic rooms of the boys hostels after they got the taste of sightseeing those Mughal era monuments.
Btw Co-studying is very interesting n handful.The ever-surprising theorems n deductions just melt out when u discuss it with any gal.

The Director should now seriously think of conducting our next exam in girls hostels so that we boys too can clear some of our doubts(??).....






7. Replace the old toothless professors with sexy female adhocs .

Old professors+ bald heads--->crap lectures---->bad academic career--->bad engineers.
Sexy professors+khule bal ---->awesome lectures--->awesome academic career--->awesome engineers.
Problem solved.


8.Provide Internet n LAN connection in hostels.


Pendrives,CDs, floppy drives are past for sharing and storing those valuable movies n Shasha Grey stuffs.Life without internet is like living without consuming those polio drops in our childhood i.e handicapped.On the flipside gamers like me often have to contact Reliance gaming world to play lan matches.Itz hard time over here dudes.




9.Open an Mc Donalds outlet inside campus.

Burgers in Raipur are like eating two piece of bread sandwiching dogshit in between.Ohh..one of ma friend described it biologically n physically too.Pizzas are far worse than burgers.WTF..people over here haven't heard abt French-fries So how do you expect us to live  n study hard without getting those main supplements for growth??
Mr CEO of Mc Donald's ,if you are reading this post do contact me soon.


10.Swimming pool:


Comon we all know that Raipur is  drier n hotter than El Azizia.Apart from icecreams n sunscreens, swimming pools are very much necessary to cool off in such a harsh climatic condition.Ok fine ,gals and middle genders can have different timings if they want.



My girlfriend was so much impressed with ma suggestions that she planted something soft n shiny on ma cheeks and asked me "Dhruv give me 10 reasons why you love me".
Shit I m fcked now!!!

X-COLON n PETROTech.

Ahh..today was the day which I really like to call a busy n fruitful day.
Woke up at unusual 8 ...MOTIVE: to make "farhrahs" for my petroleum technology test.
Juntus... "farhrahs"  means ready made answers sheets  for any class-test.The seem like important question's answers are noted down in a delicate and unsuspicious manner and AilA!!! the "farhrahs are ready".Freshly published answer sheets are ready to be submitted to the teachers.
NOTE:U can contact me personally if you really want to gain expertise in this field.There are hell lot of techniques and hacks for that.
Well the farhrahs as usual did the trick today..mind it only 1-2% cases fail(thatz a nominal risk for a good career).
2 questions and fcko they are ready in no time.I did some social service meanwhile passing my sheets in my neighbourhoods.I love the thrill in that.
Test gone in a good note.Thank me.
Went to invite our dear teachers for tomorrows "teachers day celebration".
All were really in a good mood..."rare".
IOCL recruited fellas invited the unrecruited ones (poor me) to celebrate.
Venue: X-colon . 1p.m
By 3p.m all were present...DJ music in full volume.Was enjoying the matkas and jhatkas of evryone....I wish I could dance.
I also did some bumping and jumping in the Dj floor ..It was fun..yeh yeh "It was fun".Na reh..it was a "forced fun".
Meanwhile I did a couple of window shopping for two reasons----My eardrums needed some rest n secondly I had to had some fresh air.
Ahhh..the food started...panner and nun are my occasional favourites..gulped them.
Ohh..."kahin to hogi woh".....my romantic heart told me "get up boy ; you should invite a sweety to dance with you".
BAs..with no second thought this unexperienced dude went up to dance....
"Bhagwan aaj meri izzat rakhna".
Raman , Avinash n Vidya were pro...comon...n this noob was trying to step up with them..Fck man...
Newayz I swayed to my right and left with no rhythm...n Lo I was dancing (acc to me).
I went up to Mamta and asked her up...like bollywood style..to dance with me.All popping eyes were upon us...."moments as such are precious" ....It was fun.
Done....conclusion---I M GONNA LEARN DANCING.
The preparations for the teachers day have to be done.Me , Yogi and Vysagh
did the shopping and managed to get ready all the necessary stuffs for tomorrows function...
FORMATILITY is really something which u want to avoid it but can't ignore it.
Challo ...letz see whtz in store for tomorrow.