To Irin....with love

Will 

Irene feel insecure if I blog?

Zainy give me that Sreesanth look again if I bother her again?

Rakhi Sawant start loving me again if I open my heart for her in my blog?

My 'Hitlerish' sister Priyanka reboot her boring lectures again once I write?

My adorable bhanja call me up and say "Mlama U r awesome. I just wlant to ble like you".

The question was "To blog or not to blog" until one day my dear friend Irene called me up and demanded "Dhruv, you didn't come to my marriage nor you sent me any gift. 

I am so mad at you. You need to write something about me in your blog".

Challenge accepted!

Few days back when I was strolling in Facebook after taking off from my research, I came across Irene's profile picture which kinda caught my attention. The picture spoke many words, expressed many emotions. But what really backfired my nerve cells was I can bother Irene with my serious thoughts.

Hence I enacted 5 different scenarios which depicts each expressions.

Irene U can treat/hit me later. Thank you for the Biryani treat though!

Picture 5

Irene knew me a person of great intellectual and always seeked my technical expertise whenever needed. One day my cell buzzed. It was Irene on the other end.

Kirfkirt Dude : Hello Iron

Irene : KD...m stucked(very concerned voice)

KD : Where??How??

Irene : There is a power failure and the elevator is not working.

KD : So what is the problem??

Irene : I was stuck outside the elevator. I am waiting for the last 20 minutes.

KD : Ohh(I imagined her face...Picture 5 )

Irene : KD I donno what to do..please help me.

KD : Ok Irene...why don't you use the staircase??

Irene : Ahh..thank you KD. I would do that. You are genius.

Picture 4

KD : Congrats Irene. Now tell me, What did you achieve?

Irene : I successfully completed a very complicated Jigsaw puzzle.

KD : How much time did you take to complete the puzzle?

Irene : I just took two days to complete it.

KD : But don't you think that it is a very long time to complete a puzzle?

Irene : No. It is not. In fact the cover says "2 years and above"

KD: Oh. Then we should celebrate it :) 

Picture 3

I can somehow relate this status to picture 3. 

Picture 2

KD: You seem to be lost somewhere. Whats wrong?

Irene: I am confused what color of curtains should I choose for my laptop?

KD: Curtains for Laptop??

Irene: Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!

KD: Blue with white flower print will be a good choice!

Picture 1

Irene : I just read your blog!



Note: Entirely fictional events. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Sorry Irin!

                                               "Happy Married life Paul and Irin".

Rusty Thoughts

Yeh I am on a freaking writing streak.No I am not high.Sometimes sleep just disowns you and you are left with a wondering mind , a philosophical mind in my case who ponders over every possible heartbreaks and accolades ; every happiness and sorrow you have gone through in your life.Its spiral and addictive.U think more about your mind like you are typing "google" in google and searching for the answers.So pretty abstruse and abortive , I still love to be philosophical at times.

You turn on John Mayer and the memories come alive in flashes.Ohh the first day in nursery..I was so nervous and cried my heart out.I still remember how tightly my little fingers grabbed Dad's arm, tiny droplet of tears wetting his cream cotton shirt,screaming my herat out when the class teacher forced me to sit inside the class.All my watery eyes asked "Don't leave me Dad".It was intense.


Emotions matured but feelings didn't.

First crush,first fight,first on stage performance.....the confidence amidst fear..life so much justifies itself.
I still remember my first proposal.It was kinda funny.So at that time(class 6 or 7) I categorized myself among those guys who just chickened out when it comes in terms of talking to "girl" species.First crush is always special.Your heart just throbs unexpectedly when you see her approaching with her friends,giggling and having occasional glances at you.Special , really special.Your world is full of colours.And you know that is LOVE.Life just happen to move at slow pace at that moment...yeh yeh movies sometimes showcases reality.U think of thousands of reason to impress her up.U make up your hair every minute, probably wetting it to look shiny and "sexy".Well I still look sexy when I wet my hair:P.So I finally garnered some courage and asked my batchmate(who was a girl) to propose my crush on my behalf.FYI my first crush was my junior.THe deal was done.I was excited.The verdict came.She "LIKES" me.
She never spoke ; neither do I...but our eyes did occasionally.CASE CLOSED.
Crushes came and gone.Disappointments and appointments sailed parallaly .


Aspirations and goals mushroomed around the corner.A professional cyber-gamer,wannabe chess player, professional blogger,self-proclaimed singer cum musician.....ended up being a chemical engineer.Who knows someday I might end up sharing my lunch with Bill Gates....Dream boy dream ...It don't cost you anything.Even Abdul Kalam told me that when I met him during the special event.It was special.Life is special.


Damn!its 5 am.... Chirping and tweeting broke the sweet silence ...A new day, new hope , a new beginning.

-Kirfkirt DUde.

This song kinda embedded in my mind these days...

Mr X.

Hail Oo MrX.

Hope you are doing well.I thought of dropping you a certification of hatred which should  make you realize how lousy and crappy you have been all your life.

Incase you don’t remember me you are  ma alter-ego who has  been the part of me ever since I succeeded in making ma way to the ovum out of thousands of other competitors.Long run huh‼

I named you Mr X  because behind every successful story of it therez always happen to be a huge "don't do it" symbol i.e (X)blinking right infront of me just before the event.

Itz was you who made me to fart so loudly in the ma kindergarden class that the teacher almost had a nervous breakdown.Because of you I fall in love with the big fat girl in ma primary class who was twice my size.It was you  who always provoked  me to watch the ‘Shasha Grey’ Stuff whenever I was alone .I really hate you for this.Why did you explain to  me the importance of alcohol and grass in life? They now refuse to leave me.Who taught me to copy in the exams.??It was you Mr X.Why on earth did you give  me the craziest idea to pee infront of the director's mam house in ma college.I wetted ma pants for 3 continous days thereafter.

I know you were a great flirter.Hope you are on right track right now.I cannot forget the  occasions where  I  got a red eye or sometimes a beautiful reddish five finger marker as a gift from the other end.Why on earth do you have to molest RAkhi S.??

Hey Mr X how is  your adventure mania??Do you still  travel without ticket in trains and buses and  drive at 120 km/hr in intoxicated state at night??

I know you loved  brawls and you have been the part of many  during your college and school days.I still remember the day when Kanthama’s brother’s gang gheroed me up near the college canteen.And you were laughing out loud when I was  crying and begging infront of Kanthama.Man I hate you so terribly.

Didn't you try to bribe everyone when you wan the things to work out "smoothly".....Rs 100/ - to the TT for guaranteeing you a berth; ohh what about the sliping in 100 bucks to the pocket of the traffic prolice when he caught you without bike papers  and driving license??

You always boasted yourself to be a great experimentor and researcher.How True‼!

Apart from developing new slangs and swearings I heard that you  were also doing some research on the “post-effects of slangs and abuses on pregnant women”.Quite challenging task huh‼!Two days back I came to know that till date no pregnant woman agreed to be the part of your research project. Happy Hunting dude‼

Ahh I just got a notification update on my Adult friend finder profile…

Cya.

With Hatred ,

Your’s Kirfkirt dude.

Back from LALALanD

I admit I was buried inside the stress-cocoon for ages.Didi ki shaadi, project-submissions , guide-nurturing, my recent breakup with Rakhi Sawant  can be attributed  for my abeyance.Yes yes I know the Rakhi Sawant thing will interest you all which Kirfkirt Dude will be tight-lipped throughout the post.

My recent tryst with Zainy retorted me to take up blogging seriously.A very warm "Thank You" through this post-DIL SE.

During his hibernation period, Kirfkirt Dude conducted many top-secret experiments and was on the verge of discovering a Deoderant specially for the "cross-dressers".To know more about "cross-dressers" readers are advised to click on link. But due to his recent breakup with Rakhi Sawant, KD lost all the interest in the experiment.Sigh an another unnoticed death to a great idea !!

Another very important discovery which Kirfkirt Dude made in the process was the secret behind "windmill-headbanging".I hope everyone remembered the scene from Peepli Live  where effed up women in the rural area moved their heads in clockwise and counter-clockwise vigorously as if their soul were possessed by demon/ghost.Well wind-headbanging style ain't different from this.The only difference women are replaced by men and agarbattis and ghee replaced by weed and beer.

An epic video showcasing the art of windmill-headbanging.

 Note : Watch out for the "Flying Dude" @ .50 .I miss my good old days after watching this video.

Well another godsent gift was my unexpected trip to Shillong with Dev.Guys one of the ten things you should do in your life - explore Shillong, the Scotland of the East.No I wouldn't rhapsodize about the trip , rather I will leave all upto you to do that.I say pictures speak larger than words(unless edited).

All Saints Church

  Green tea.

Beer with pork Momo.

If you are a beer fan like me don't miss the above "delicacy".I swear its "Effing awesome".

Music, Drizzle, Beer,NSPs(नयन सुख प्राप्ति) ,  Elephant falls, Shillong Peak, Cherranpunji, Police Bazaar etc n etc ..What more can you ask for in Life?Go check wikipedia/ local holiday planner for more details.Go free your senses in Shillong.

Well my deary Bhanja started to get geeky(with a bit of help from his Mama of course).

Here below are the proofs.

Mama where is counterstrike??

"Mama can you open an fb account with this profile picture??"

The above picture was taken when Priyanka got hitched and we four  siblings took the rare opportunity to get clicked together in one frame.A very rare picture indeed!!

"Happy married life Maini.And stop looking for girls for me.I am dead serious "-With Love, your brother Kirfkirt Dude.

Get clean to get dirty--- "THe Axe effect".

Disclaimer : No girls were molested/humiliated while typing this post.But yes boys were.....

Note : The post is fresh.Stinky/desperate boys are strictly advised to read this.

Additional Note : Fantasy is limitless.

Urban Dictionary define about AXE Effect :

The effect achieved when a large group of ignorant and insecure pubescent boys attempt to cover up their smell with excessive quantities of Axe while at the same time forgetting to bathe regularly. The resulting smell is a combination of that of severe body odour and that of a severe chemical spill. 

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.No girl  did a 'Boom Chicka Wah Wah' while spanking my ass” a disappointed Axe customer who had been using the Axe deodorant from last 8  years.

Our day to day life might have encountered many such "disappointed" customers.I always pity such insecure and dumped customers.To fight for their justice Kirfkirt Dude is planning to start an "Anna Hazare" kind of movement .Candle marches and Poonam Pandey kinda stints will too be a part of the movement to bring back their lost glory and stop the atrocities of the Axe manufacturers.

Please be a part of the movement by not watching those AXE commercials during the IPL matches.

Thankz.Peace.

Five things you should know about AXE product :

a) Lets be straight-forward. AXE doesn't make any girl stick to you like glue no matter how much you dump on you.

b) Can be skin-sensitive.Rashes, itching might be the common symptoms.Do contact a skin specialist immediately.Rashes appeared on Kirfkirt Dude's ass for some reason which won't be discussed here.

c) If AXE attracts girls, why don't they attract boys too??Cumon they don't mix the ingredients according to male or female hormonal needs.

d) Kirfkirt Dude tested AXE over a "male" mouse during his research stint.Sigh no effect.

e) Do Angels really exist??Check the video below to find it out.

Rebecca Black.....Reallly??

I guess I should start by thanking KiRfKiRt dUdE for sharing his blog with me to express my ideas....So thanks much KD!

Listening to Kelly Rowland's "MOTIVATION" and being kinky really makes a GAL wanna blog ...

Bear with me C,G n F followers ... this is my first entry.....(and hopefully not my last =p)

So the other night.... my bf had what he thought was an enlightening idea.... getting jiggy to none other than Rebecca Black's (RB) "FRIDAY"!!!

For those of you who know of her.... well... u know why that would be any gf's NIGHTMARE...

And for those who don't know her... i guess I'll have to increase the no. of hits RB's got on youtube by posting this....(i apologize in advance, KD)

Spoof of Rebecca Black's 'FRIDAY'

Now this had Zainy thinking.....Music is INSPIRING.... nothing like a good song to make a girl wanna lose herself...

HOWEVER... what if the guy's idea of a hot song is a girl's snoozefest?!?!??!?!?!

learning from the best GURU out there.... Kirfkirt Ji.... i decided to do my own little survey... and this is wat i found...

100% of the girls love music to get their groove on

and guys... 90% didn't really care ftw was playing in the background.... and the 10% that do love themselves some juicy music... well i question their masculinity DEEPLY... =p

Upon further research... i discovered several websites that lists best songs to seduce/serenade/whatever-the-heLL-u-wanna-call-it

There are even GENRE-specific websites.......

I really wonder if guys google this to get ideas of what their "lady love" might like...

or do they just assume every girl is into justin beiber (JB) and just play his songs !?!???!!

The strenuous work made me remember the time wen one of my old roomies made a cd for me entitled, "ZAINY'S LOVE MIX"....

These were the songs:

1. My Humps- Black Eyed Peas

2. So Do You Only Wanna Dance - Mya

3. La Tortura

AND a whole bunch of spanish songs i don't know the names of...

I can honestly say i never used the CD for the purpose it was meant for.... sorry roomie.. mayb I should have tried....who knows how it would have turned out.... but i guess i'll never know... as i lost that cd....WOMP WOMP WOMP!!! =(

So for all you Clueless FOLKS*** out there, here are some lessons:

A. The female gender LOVES music.... not my opinion... just what my stats proved!

B. JB = SUCKS = RB .... so unless you are trying to hit on a 12- 15 yr old girl... STAY AWAY FROM THIS EQUALITY

C. GOOGLE!!!!... cmon now!!! in this day and age... if ur desperate and not using google to fix ur problems, you must be from outer space!

D. OH...if you are an Alien.... HI! thank you for reading my post... and i've the perfect song for you... "E.T." by Katy Perry ft. Kanye West =D

*** NOTE: I did not specify the "lessons" for just guys.... lesbians are welcome to use this list as well... i know i should have generalized the entire post... but too lazy to change it now..

I bid you Adieu with Marvin Gaye..., "Music, not sex, got me aroused."

Peace, Love, n Music

~ZAINY~

The Love-gedy.

"There is a thin line between blogging and controversies.Either way I love them both."

When I was in class 6 ,I fell in love with this beautiful girl who use to come in the white Mahindra Armada.She was in class 4 at that time.She got those tiny little ears and a little mole in her right cheek.It was love at first sight!!I dreamt of having my grandkids with her.Basking into my glorified dream I drew a cartoon of me and her ; holding hands inscribing our names into it and carefully treasured inside my brand new red underwear pocket.

One day my emotions overflowed when she giggled at me when I was out of my class kneeling down.I knew this is the sign ; the day has finally come to express my love. I took photocopies of my treasure and pasted them all over in the girl's toilet late after school that day.

KD loves RS

Next day there was a huge commotion in the school.I saw boys trying to avoid girls as much as they can.I knew the gravity of the situation.My eyes radared around for my crush. There she was sitting pretty with her bunch of friends,giggling as usual.I smiled at her.She too smiled back at me.I knew this was it.I could see in her eyes "her love for me".I took out my 'coffee bite' which had letters inscribed "KD loves RS" from my pocket and approached towards her.My heart raced in timescale of a millisecond.But KD didn't bow down to all those emotional threats ; he slowly went up to RS and expressed his love by going down on knees and gifting her the special "coffee bite".The next moment I remember I had a pink thread tied to my hand;the coffee bite still intact within my tiny fingers.

For reference check below picture ,

Lesson learnt : Never propose a girl on a Raksha Bandhan day .

Don't get fooled by the above picture/ads.Love-gedy continued.....

6==11+ by Indian Railway.

"If you want to make God laugh , tell him about your plans" - Woody Allen.
13/4/2011 God was laughing at me.


"U NEVER GET TICKETS WHEN U WANT, TATKAL IS FAULTY, THE SYSTEM CORRUPT TO THE HILL, TOUTS AND THUGS FLOURISH,DRUNK PASSENGERS, TICKET COLLECTORS ASK FOR EXTRA BUCKS, SHIT and PISS EVERYWHERE,DELAY-MACHINE,THIEVES ROBBERS RAPIST EUNUCHS".
Yeh Yeh I am talking of Indian Railway.... the crippled and lame service on earth .


Mamata Didi(MD)~ : Kirfkirt dude^ you look pissed off.What happened?
Kirfkirt Dude(KD)^ : Well I missed my flight.Washed away 7k.
MD~ : Ahha ..sad..how??
KD^ : Crippled Indian railway service made it easy for me.
MD~ : Dude explain.
KD^ : The so called "express" after halting and screeching at infinity number of stations extended its 6 hour journey to 11 hour journey.And hence I missed my connecting flight.I want my money back now.
MD~ : Comon Kirfkirt thats totally normal on our part.Remember we are "Indians".


Lessons learnt from 13/4/2011 :

a) Don't ever trust Indian railway timing(s).
b) Not every auto-wallah in Delhi is rude and maniac.
c)Remember to cancel your flight ticket 2 hours in advance.If you are interested in performing some James Bond tricks just to reach at the nick of time ...don't do it.Else you will end up loosing 7k like me.
d)ATM is the most wonderful invention of mankind.
e)"Bird-watching" in airport is fun.Helps de-stressing!!
(Read "bird" as "cute").

Dear Railway Minister its my humble request to do something to improve the train delays/timings.(Keep a tolerance limit of 2 hours at the most).

-Regards

An innocent sufferer.

Crossdressers Ftw~

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!

The article you are looking at may not be work safe! ...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

Well they say the first impression is the last impression.I was downloading the above picture ;suddenly my girlfriend burged into my room to show her new pimple.Before I could act she dived her 2 inch long nails into my neck like a zombie and started strangling me.Lots of questions were hurled into me at the timescale of a nano-second.Before I could answer anything she bursted out into tears,kicked open the door and paced away, slamming the door which almost bursted out my delicate eardrums.

I am still waiting for her reply.

(Gal , if you are still mad at me,just read this post.It answers everything why I was downloading the above picture).

So Kirfkirt Dude as usual was carrying out his secret surveys and experiments and this time he stumbled upon a crossdresser @ KFC ,Delhi.

KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken.Don't mistake it for Kirfkirt Fried Chicken.... Silly.

The proof @ KFC :

The guy in black shirt is Kirfkirt Dude.

Wikipedia Guy says that people cross-dress as a matter of comfort or style.They prefer clothing associated with the opposite sex.Some people cross-dress to shock others or to challenge social-norms.

Kirfkirt Dude was fond of wearing his sister's skirts when he was a kid.Did that mean he too was a cross-dresser?Scottish people have a version of skirt called the kilt which is traditionally worn....Are all Scottish people crossdressers??

Drag is a special form of performance art based

on crossdressing.A drag queen is usually a male-bodied person who performs a exxageratedly feminine character.A drag king is the counterpart of drag queen.

To know more about drag queen hit

[drag queen].

An Indian Drag-queen trying to expertise the art of seduction

Rakhi Sawant is a big dramabaaz..everyone knows that.Thatz doesn't make all the silicon implanted ladies dramabaaz. Similarly, crossdressers may act like gays/lesbians.That doesn't make all the crossdressers gays or lesbians.Fact proven!!

Why people usually cross-dress??

The answers( according to survey by Kirfkirt Dude) :

a. I am not content with my biological sex.I want change.

b. My girl-friend ditched me and ran away with that guy.I will seduce that guy by being a cross-dresser and take revenge upon my girl-friend.

c. I heard strange things about girls/boys hostel.Lemme check it out..

d. I heard that my boyfriend is gay(or otherwise).Gotta find it by myself!!

e. I just love it.Who gives a Shit!!

Next time if you guys have this strong tendency of wearing your sister's,brother's, girlfriends's, boyfriend's clothes ...check the above five reasons.Probably one of the reason fits you for good.

Peace.\m/.

RandoM thoughtS

I have no idea what I will be writing down in this post.3 hours of sleep and continuous banging by IIT K profs just made me lick up my fingers and I am smashing at the keyboards with no good reason.If you too are bored just like me right now then you are advised not to proceed any further because still I have got no idea what this post will be all about.It might be about my sufferings ,my Dklogies,my galfriends,about God...

My guide will be here(LAB) any moment and if he sees me writing my blog in the lab he will "GM" me for sure.To go with bloggers terms and conditions I am not revealing what "GM" is.Sincere/innocent guy like me can figure it out in no time.

Often in my brainy brain strange questions tickle up.

"Why do we gals wear makeup??

For how many days a man can survive without bathing??

Will silicon chest and abs(six-packs) come up for males??

Is it possible to invent a device which can scan up all the mobile numbers nearby(specially female neighbours)??

P.S: Kirfkirt dude have been carrying out top-secret experiments to expose all these bits and craps.

Still clueless about what I am doing with my life I often end up with Youtube guy for readymade serenade.

A fine noon I was randomly searching about As and Bs in You-Tube and I finished up with a contented video about pole-dancing.A little patience can take you to peace.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!

The article you are looking at may not be work safe! ...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

Pole dancing is a form of performing art, a combination of dancing and gymnastics It involves dancing sensually with a vertical pole and is often used in strip clubs and gentlemen's clubs " -Wikipedia.

(Not to confused with dancing in the North/South pole)

" I pole dance everyday to keep myself fit...Hissss.." - Mallika Sherawat.

" Pole dancing can be a part of Indian education system"- Kapil Sibbal.

" Mommy,can I marry a pole dancer?? "- Kirfkirt dude.

"I want to represent India in Pole-dancing competition"-Kirfkirt Dudez 12 old cousin.

I often ask my friends and professors in IITK what is so special about pole-dancing.Feedbacks in concise form are as follows :

a) Pole dancing they say originates from India.Hence in order to keep our tradition alive and patriotism sake people pole-dance.

(p:s: refer mallakhamba [link] ).

b) One of my Phd friend recently took up to pole-dancing as he read somewhere that it reduces the fat-content in the body .All he thinks about is pole-dance and he is planning to write a thesis on the "So you think you can POLE DANCE."

c)Robbers and thieves community conduct pole-dance as their preliminary stage to certify their members.

d)"Way to a man's heart is through pole-dance"-Aunty Sarita.

Pole dancing: Its not for the strippers anymore.Pole dancing started way back in America in 1920s depression period where dancers in travelling troupe used pole as a prop for performance to save their livelihood and hence the popularity rosed to a new height with countries like Australia,Canada,Japan,France,Netherlands n the UK holding prestigious pole dancing competitions every year deviating from its main motive.

N.B : Kirfkirt dudez wishlist include attending one of those competitions.

The video which you have been waiting for ages :

[link : Russian vs Indian Pole dance]

Eyes blueberry ,Lips strawberry.Should I accept her proposal??

The above picture got nothing to do with pole-dancing.The guys here are playing "Organic Holi" among themselves where organs are decorated with the help of other organs....

N.B : Applying red color mark ..so called Sindoor along the parting of the hair is a kind of "Organic Holi".

Lipstick-StickyLip Menace

While pondering over in the depressurisation chamber(potti) my mind strucked upon with this “noble” idea of why do girls (n some boys too) love to wear lipstick.Inquisitiveness know no boundaries.To find the answer I called up my ex-girl-friends and asked them blindly about the issue.Answers ranged from “confidence booster” to “better communication” to unexpected “supernatural power enhancer(??)” .How true!!!

Still disappointed with the responses I took the help of this Google guy and myself did some tit-bit research.

HIstory:

From some reliable source I came to know that lipstick factory originated in some place called “Bermuda Triangle” and experts say that these factories are still secretly carrying out their illegal production.I called up the FBI guys and asked them about their future operation to flush out the "mass-destruction factories".Blatantly they admitted that “the issue” is being handled by Condoleezza Rice(link) and they aren’t expecting much in future.Well Condoleezza Rice number has changed n I couldn’t call her up.Newayz m trying my best to beat it.Recently this Speilberg guy called me up to give him every information I get because his future movie is based on this lipstick issue/menace.Watch out the year’s biggest blockbluster….

Wikipedia says that Miss Egypt Cleopatra did a great research on this enigmatic paint and finally came up with the fomulae of making lipstick from crushed beetles and ants.But legends consider Abu al-Qasim al-Zahrawi to be the father of modern lipstick.He still is worshipped by many female sapiens all over the world.Recently the people of Egypt revolted against their leader Hosni Mubarak because he tried to make lipstick compulsary for every Egpytian.Poor Hosni!!

Controversies:

This innocent looking paint never run out of controversies.Recent studies disclosed that 1/3 rd of lipstick contains more than 0.1 ppm(limit) of lead which apart from causing “lip cancer” to female sapiens adversely affect the biological cycle of male sapiens too.How true!!Moreover reports were there that lipstick contains pig-fat as the major proportion.

Hence each government is taking stringent measure to curb this illegal mass-destruction product.Red ones are considered highly dangerous to male species they suffer from the urge to perform random acts of libido release after being inflicted visually.

Human rights organisation and anti-lipstick campaigners are rallying out daily to stop the lipstick menace.Pigs too are on their hunger-strike.PETA campaigners are leaving no stones unturned in their social effort.

Stills from one of the million rally against

LIPSTICK———————————>>

Even the Indian government came up with the campaign ”Jaago Grahak Jaago” to curb lipstick autocraties.Way to go Sonia Gandhi…..my wishes to U.

NB:If you are die hard anti-lipstick campaigner please feel free to contact me.

The SEXY me!!

Recently one of my close friend , Iron Mathew threw me a challenge.A challenge which if I accepted would degrade me infront of my girlfriends.But my courageous alter-ego Kirfkirt Dude never backed down.This time was no different.Heres the summary.

"Kirfkirt dude, label out through five sexy pictures of yours describing the qualities and traits of you in it."

The 5 sexy Avatars of Kirfkirt dude :

1.The crazy,funny hotpot

This dates back to second year of my engineering life where one of my girl-friends asked me on a date.I usually don't go on a date but her persistant cooes melted me out and I sat behind her scooty .She drove me straight to KFC (Kirfkirt Fried Chicken), a chain of western dhabas famous among the hippies.(I refer the the rich brats as hippies for personal reasons).Starters,exotic hot and spicy chicken pieces,King-Zong Boxes, desserts,cola made its way into our table.I smacked them to glory.

I glanced at the front table.A cute girl of my age was winking at me, besides tearing the leg-piece.I instantly fell in love. I just blushed away.My dimples became clear.

"Is she in love with me too??"Thousands of question ran down through my brain.

My gf talked and talked.I hardly gave a damn.I was too busy flirting with my front neighbour.

Hunger can make people devour anything.Situation was demanding.I ate nearly everything ,even her share.Its fun to eat others share.Finally the BILL arrived.I peeped at it and pretended to act to natures call.I sprang out of my seat.After half an hour I arrived at the scene thinking my gf would have handled the situation by now but she was acting normal.I smelled fishy and hecK the BILL was lying at the same spot where I left it.I chcked my wallet.Two 10 rupee note sat petrified inside.My SBI bank balance stored no more than 300 bucks.

I turned towards her , possibly giving my best romantic look and asked "Will you pay the bill?"

Before I could sense any motion I felt something hit hard on my balls.

Universal fact: Pointed shapes does more damage when hit.

She took out her cell and clicked a couple of my sexy looks.A result is as below.

2.The Serious Chuck Norris

Ok Gals now stop drooling over that picture.

I bet no one could look more serious than this one.If you feel you can impress me with your best possible "serious looks" do mail me.Rs 10 is at stake.

Campus season was on.I persuaded the photographer to edit my passport size photo to the best possible "serious" look he can do.I too left no stone unturned.Happy and contented I pasted those pictures in every application form was well as in matrimonial sites.I am still waiting for their replies.Guess they don't want any serious looking guy.Poor them!!

3.The fatherly figure.

The kid is not my son

Kirfkirt dude have recently discovered that kids do love him a lot and they don't even think a second before jumping into his arms.Any possible suggestion of replacing the "kid" by "girl" is welcome.Btw the baccha I am holding is my bhanja Rinov who loves his Mama Very much.I hope I can make him just like me and make his parents proud ; but my sister wouldn't allow me to come near him.To read more about this cutie pie herez the link.

4.The QUIET Poet/Meditator.

The picture was taken when Kirfkirt dude was meditating after he accidently consumed some alcohol in place of cola.Bastards.

Kirfkirt dude favourite past-time is meditation.He even joined yoga classes for reasons that won't be discussed over here.But overall Kirfkirt dude love meditating.Infact most of his path-breaking ideas emerge during this period.The best part of meditation is that you have control power over yourself you hardly shout at anyone.People just adore you for that.They may even worship you.So meditate just like me and make this world a better place to live.

5.The Sporty dude.

Megan Fox & Kirfkirt dudez sexy cropped haircut.

Kirfkirt dude have always been a big fan of Megan Fox.To read more about Megan Fox heres the [link].If you think Kirfkirt dudez sporty look is sexy do SMS [yourname] [HAAN] to 5678 or if you think if you he look sexier in long hairs SMS [NA] .Winners will be selected randomly and will be given the same sporty cut free of cost.

Secret fact : Kirfkirt dudez dancing tutor(in the video below).Hez just mindblowing.